The Summer of a Dormouse

Musings of an incurable pessimist. "When one subtracts from life infancy (which is vegetation) - sleep, eating and swilling - buttoning and unbuttoning - how much remains of downright existence? The summer of a dormouse...(Lord Byron)

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Female Diogenes

My parents came to adulthood before the Second World War, so the values they transmitted to me were very much of that society. And totally unlike the morality which holds sway today.

No, I am not talking about sex.

For one thing, it was a given that, if you were the odd one out in any situation, you would be the one to make any necessary adjustments or sacrifices. Unlike today, where the individual is brought up to believe that, if necessary, the whole of society must shove over in order to grant his whim.

Consideration for others was also a given. Not making a row at night, when others need to sleep; stepping aside in doorways, and holding doors open. These don't come easy to the young, who are naturally preoccupied with themselves, but we were taught.

It was also a given that, if you wanted anything, you were expected to earn it. Then came the notion, in the Thatcher years, that "whatever you want, is yours by right if you have the balls to take it." Fine - but I do not see any mention in there of considering the rights of any other person, such as a prior owner or occupant, of the thing you want. In fact, nowadays, merely wanting something seems to confer, to the immature mind, the right to have it, and sod anyone else's rights. It is a baby's natural solopsism, but parents used to have the authority to disabuse the infant of such presumption before its first birthday.

I think society is the worse for abandoning these principles, because it is the weak who suffer. We are supposed to be a civilised race, not indulging in jungle warfare, and the macho posturing of those who parrot about the "real world" makes me sick.

Okay, now let's talk about sex.

The sexual morality of those days was repellent. My mother's generation believed devoutly that (a) men only want one thing (b) they want it so badly they'll marry you to get it (oh yeah?) (c) once they've had it without a wedding-ring, not only will they leave you flat, they'll put the word round all their friends that you are "easy". So you bartered your virginity for a wedding-ring, which even in those days was not a ticket for life.

Boys, on the other hand, seem to have been taught that any trick was permissible to seduce a girl, because if she "gave in" it was all her fault for being "impure" and they had no further responsibility towards her. Wives were property, and their place was in the kitchen or flat on their back. No man could be expected to take on another man's child.

Then in the Sixties came what was known as the New Morality, or Permissive Society. Somebody (who? Big Brother? The Queen?) had to give permission for sexual activity outside marriage. Agony columns in women's magazines peddled the lie that it was "all right", that is, not immoral, only if you were "truly in love". So ensured the maximum suffering.

Am I glad that poisonous rubbish has gone. I prefer the honest paganism of today.

Now please visit this site
and support a very worthy cause on May 1st!

2 Comments:

Blogger The Goldfish said...

Thanks for the link, Dot. :-)

I think you're quite right about Thatcher - or at least that era - and that's as a child of the eighties. Not only do such attitudes make it more difficult to get on with one another, but it makes people very unhappy. Folks can't really understand why they can't have what they want or why their lives aren't great once they've got the house and all the gadgets and gizmos.

4:37 pm  
Blogger dotandcarryone said...

Thank you, Charles. I am glad I'm not the only one to think the world is going downhill!

2:55 pm  

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